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Dispatches from a Struggling Buddhist Studies Graduate Student

Thursday, June 14, 2012

ฝรั่งเหม็น (Smelly Foreigner)


After I ate dinner and returned to my guest house last night, I had an idea.  I am staying in an area with a fair number of bars, and I have not had a drop of alcohol during my entire trip.  So it crossed my mind that perhaps I should venture out to one of the bars nearby and have a drink or two.  Nothing excessive, but something to relax a bit before I went to bed. 

Instead, I stayed home.  I’m a very introverted person, but I still like to interact socially at least some of time.  But I decided not to go out because of a very simple, though aggravating reason.  As I mentioned, yesterday the temperature reached 34 C, which means I sweated like a cow at a Texas barbeque.  It was bad enough that the sleeves of my over-shirt turned a little brown, and I’m sure I smelled something akin to a war crime.  Trust me, it’s a lovely picture. 

Many of my friends know that I have hyposmia, meaning that I have a reduced capacity to detect smells.  If something next to me is on fire or someone douses themselves in perfume or cologne, I can smell it.  But outside that and a few other examples, odors are a mystery to me.  I’ve never really known how they work on an experiential level.  If I, something in my room, or some of my clothes have a rank odor, I’m none the wiser.  It’s led to some funny instances, like the time my frat brother Ben saved me from a few days on toilet by pointing out the meat I was about to eat was on the wrong side of spoiled. 

But it also makes me paranoid as hell about my own odor.  Add that with a propensity to sweat oceans anytime the temperature reaches above 72 F, and you have my hatred of summer.  Usually, I just stay inside or if I have to go out somewhere, I take my car and blast the AC to create my own little arctic nest.  And if I think I am a bit smelly, I spray my clothes with Febreeze and let that magical concoction do its thing.  But I don’t have a car in Thailand and I forgot my Febreeze in Wisconsin, so when I want food, decent internet connection, or anything else, I walk.  In the heat.  Sweating up a storm.  I tried to remedy the situation by buying some spray deodorant to cover any smell from my clothes, but since I can’t tell how much I should use, I thought it would probably just the bad smell with something else that was too strong to be pleasant. 

So the reason I am not going out tonight is that I’m sure I’m a rank mess, and I’d rather not oppress other people in a cramped space with my BO.  Just imagine a large, hairy, smelly, sweat stained foreigner hanging out at a chic Chiang Mai bar.  It’s not an image I’d like to make a reality. 

1 comment:

  1. Don't the natives smell bad sometimes too? You need to make a friend who you are comfortable asking to smell you. Also, in my experience, you are not particularly smelly...even on the hottest days. Just shower and wear deodorant. Also, like the fellow on Facebook said, shave your beard. I know, I know, this is heresy I speak, but it should really help.

    I miss you tons! And remember, this is a wonderful opportunity for you. Make the most of it even if it means being a bit stinky.

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